Memorial Day

Ezra can't get enough gardening. Luckily we have been doing a lot of it lately.

Fishin

Ian took Eve out Sunday after church. I thought she wouldn't last an hour but they were out for quite a few hours.

We did it, and we're okay

Today was a wild day. We were just hanging out at mom's after church and Ezra hit his head on the corner of a square leg of the piano bench. He hit pretty hard... it was very close to breaking the skin. So we called and they told us to take the factor to the emergency room. Only one poke... and then when it was over we celebrated with ice cream.

Gardening

Ezra is really into gardening. He loves getting his hands (and mouth) dirty.

I know this outfit is about as matchy as Eve's polka dot theme. Ian dressed him, I swear. But I made those super cool knee pad pants. There is also a big pad on the bum.

Personal Style

This particular day the theme was polka dots.

Big Sister

Eve is just the sweetest big sister. I love watching her with Ez. Last night she was filling a sippy cup full of water and Ian and I both thought she was up to some monkey business and then she handed it to Ezra so that he could have a drink, I thought that was so sweet. Of course she likes to blame any stinky smell on him... who wouldn't? Sometimes she doesn't quite understand that she should be gentle with him... but come on she's only 3! I think she is doing an awesome job with him. She is so proud of her brother and she often exclaims "Mom Ezra is getting bigger!" I think it is so great how much she loves him and loves to point out his successes.

9 months!!

Magic

You know what I like best about being a mom? Is that somehow the moment I became a mom I became a creator of magic. First off there is the magic that goes along with just carrying a child for nine months... that along is a magical act. Then there are just the little every day things like kissing scrapes and hugging away tears. Sometimes it is actually setting up another magical person's things; like setting out the Easter eggs and talking up the Easter bunny. I love being the unknown creator of an event that is so magical to my kids (well only Eve is old enough to even get it right now).
I know a day will come when they grow up and won't believe in the Easter bunny type of magic but I know that there is still something magical about a mom. I remember being in labor with Eve and there was no question that I needed my mom there. There is something magical about her. I know that if she is there; even if she is doing nothing but cheering for me and praying, I can do anything. I am so grateful for my mom and the magic she provides in my life.
I know that her amazing mom powers have helped me deal with how my world got turned upside down recently. My mom is one of those centering forces of my world, and how she does it I don't know, but it is pretty amazing!

Ezra's bling

Something nice and shiny came in the mail today. Ezra's little medic alert bracelet arrived!! He is happy to chew on, nice location for easy access.

Looks like hemophilia

This is that bruised up picture I didn't share a month ago. Ez's arms are bruised up from the blood draw. The bruises on the chest are from crawling around.When we were in Seattle we showed the picture to Ezra's doctor and she said "looks like hemophilia." I only wish that is what everyone thought when they saw it instead of what are you doing to your child!?! I think we might need a letter with his diagnosis for all those people that think we are beating our child... what do you think?

Happy Faced Ez

Moms

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone

This quote is one of my favorite quotes about motherhood/parenthood. Since Ezra was diagnosed it has really described how I feel most of the time. I know I feel that way about both of my kids but the reality of how much of me is invested in these little people that came from me didn't hit until something happened to one of them.

My heart breaks for Ezra and the struggles he will have to go through because no matter how hard we try he will always be different. I mourn for the carefree boyhood I wanted him to have. I wish I could just take it from him, his hemophilia; this is something grown up that a little one should not have to worry about. I don't want him to grow up worrying... but that is the reality of his life. I feel bad that most likely I gave this to him and I know I shouldn't. When my mom says if you gave it to him then most likely I gave it to you and “I am sorry” I just shake it off because I know that is not something she deliberately “gifted” to me. But then I am hard on myself for unknowingly gifting hemophilia to Ezra. That is what it is to be mothers... we would take all of the pain and hurt away from our kids if we could. I know my mom wishes she could take it away and that I wish I could take it away. Unfortunately nothing can change what is... and I would rather have Ezra here, problems and all, than not have him at all.