Roskam Family

Stay Tuned...

2012-01-26T16:20:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is baby day! Eve's favorite thing about baby day is that she gets Lucky Charms for breakfast. A couple days ago she said to me "Mom, you remember when Ezra was borned I got marshmellow cereal, we should really buy some." I laughed. I can't believe she even remembered that, that was 17 months ago. So after my pre-op appointment today I stopped by to pick up the goods. I will be sure to give my kids extra snuggles tonight since I know that they are going to seem so much bigger tomorrow!!!

Belly Dancing

2012-01-07T08:50:00.000-08:00

Ignore the stretch marks. Before this I had some really wild body parts poking out but the camera battery was dead.... so this is what you get... more mild belly movements.

25 Days left...

2012-01-02T19:53:00.001-08:00

but who's counting right? I mean I feel like I just might explode.

Vroom

2012-01-02T19:50:00.001-08:00

Ezra got a super cool boy toy for Christmas from my dad. To tell you the truth I don't know if Ezra, Ian, or Eve was more excited about this toy.

Christmas!! Day 12

2011-12-26T21:41:00.000-08:00

I think the pictures of the kids in the cute church clothes is better than the crazy video I got of them opening it so I am just posting these pictures for Day 12. We had a very nice and relaxing Christmas. I hope that everyone enjoyed the holidays!

Days 10&11

2011-12-24T22:44:00.000-08:00

Day 9

2011-12-22T19:15:00.000-08:00

4!!!

2011-12-21T22:15:00.001-08:00

Days 7&8

2011-12-21T21:57:00.000-08:00

6th Day of Christmas

2011-12-19T23:10:00.000-08:00

5th day of Christmas

2011-12-18T23:01:00.000-08:00

4th Day of Christmas

2011-12-17T21:40:00.000-08:00

Eve was ripping this one open before I even knew what was happening... crazy child. We also got to go see Santa's reindeer today.

3rd Day of Christmas

2011-12-16T22:23:00.000-08:00

Eve was so excited to get pajamas. The wrapping paper on today's gift reminded her of her HOHO jammies she had for Christmas last year. Before we started the camera she was talking about how she needed new Christmas jammies... lucky girl got what she wished for.

2nd Day of Christmas

2011-12-15T21:38:00.000-08:00

Jingle, jingle... Eve is currently sleeping with her jingle bell.

First Day of Christmas

2011-12-14T21:50:00.000-08:00

My sister, Angela, and her family have my family this year for Christmas. She decided to go all out and do the 12 days of Christmas for my family. Eve is so excited. She was telling her best friend about the Polar Express today and kept on playing polar express.... I think this is going to be a huge hit with her!!

2011-12-08T12:24:00.000-08:00

Ezra is a little bit of a messy eater. Sometimes it is hilarious. I love the beginning of this pudding face which makes him look like the bad guy in old western movies. Eve had to take part in the picture taking. She loves to take pictures with her camera so as soon as I get out my camera she is frantically searching for hers.

My wild man

2011-12-01T11:04:00.001-08:00

Ezra is always moving... I mean he NEVER stops. Even when he is sleeping he moves around like crazy. On Sunday he took a nice dive off of our kitchen chair. Doesn't sound that bad until you know we have those nice tall chairs too match our counter height table (why oh why did we ever think that was a good idea?) He landed on the wood floor in the kitchen and of course got quite the nice goose egg. So we got our first at home non-prophy dose of factor... so much better than the ER.
Then on Tuesday he had his 15 month check-up. Don't ask he how much he weighs or any of that I was just trying to get him to stay on the scale long enough to get a weight. We have been a little worried about one of his ankles. I wasn't sure it was really a problem but every once in a while it seemed like it was bothering him. The doctor checked it out and then called Seattle... they said it was probably a subacute bleed and that we should probably increase prophy to 3 times a week. Not really all that surprising with our wild boy. I mean if older children increase prophy when they do sports or more active things why wouldn't my boy who is so active need prophy more often? It is a little bit of a bummer... Wish he would be okay with the standard dose, but glad that we have the ability to be flexible and try to keep the bleeding from happening.

Sunday Craft

2011-11-27T20:00:00.001-08:00

Ian stayed home with Ezra today while Eve and I went to church. This meant that after church we had girl's craft time with my mom. Eve was so excited to make all the snowmen out of socks and it was super easy!!

So Thankful!!

2011-11-24T11:23:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!
This morning I was thinking of things I was thankful for and the list was never ending. I am so grateful for my husband, he pretty much rocks! He is so patient and such a rock in my life. I am so happy I can always rely on him to be there. I am so thankful for my children. They are always amazing me and bringing so much joy into my life. One toothy smile after a day of cleaning up poop and listening to screaming makes it all worthwhile. I am so thankful for all of our family. They have supported us in numerous ways this past year and without them I don't know where they would be. I know all the things they have done have really kept me from totally breaking down from the stress, they have really carried my burdens and I am so happy that they are willing to do that for us. I am thankful for good doctors! I am so glad that we have them and that we don't have to live our lives in constant fear of what is next for Ezra. I am so thankful for so many things but those are some big ones I wanted to share with everyone.

Life

2011-11-15T21:08:00.000-08:00

I think this is a nice blood booger that any boy would be proud of... just another war wound. This actually just happened when he was pushing around something and bonked his nose on it. Am I bad mom for grabbing the camera when the blood booger came out (many hours after the bloody nose) instead of just cleaning his face off?

How come no one told me just how much trouble boys could be? Okay I know it just isn't boys but man I was so lucky that Eve was not a super wild child. It seems every time I turn around Ezra is up to some other type of monkey business or just when I think I have the house "childproofed" he goes and does something new to prove to me just how impossible it is to childproof. His latest thing is climbing.... climbing everything. Why couldn't my child that doesn't have hemophilia be the climber??? I guess that extra dose of wild comes right along with the hemophilia gene. Or maybe he sees his older sister climbing up things and thinks he should be doing it. I think that MAY have more to do with it than anything. So now my time is spent at trying to keep Ezra from climbing everything in sight.
Other things going on around here... the kids are loving the baby in my tummy. Ezra comes running anytime he sees my belly (which happens more than I would like to admit... darn gigantic belly of mine) and Eve has to give the baby a hug and a kiss every night. I am surprised the difference 17 months makes with Eve. When I was pregnant with Ezra she just noticed the belly getting bigger and had no interest whatsoever. Now she is so excited. She loves to feel him move and sing him songs and tonight when I was cuddling with her before bed she was just rubbing my tummy and said she was rubbing his back to help him sleep. I am so happy to have those beautiful moments. Especially now that they are nice quiet moments... who knows what our house will be like 3 months from now.... I am sure our world will just be rocked... but isn't that a good thing?

Our little doctor....

2011-11-01T17:13:00.000-07:00

Today we infused Ez for the first time at home!! YAY! I am so excited to not have to drive to town and wait at the doctor's office and make the whole process draw out to take up about half of my day with the driving and dropping Eve off somewhere. It was so nice to just do it and be done with it and still be home going about our day.
Eve hasn't seen Ez's port accessed before. I was worried about how she would handle it but she decided she wanted to do things to help. I thought it was hilarious. It was interesting to add a "helpful" sister to the mix in the infusion process. She decided that all of the pretend stuff in her doctor's kit was crap and that she needed real stuff like mommy and daddy use on Ezra. I let her put gauze on after I pulled the needle and she was so excited!!

Halloween

2011-11-01T17:07:00.001-07:00

It felt like Halloween celebrations lasted for two entire weeks. There were lots of opportunities to dress up for the kids and plenty of activities for them to do. By the time Halloween rolled around Eve's bee costume was in the wash and of course she decided her many princess dresses would not make a good costume so she decided to dress up as a nurse... to match Ian's scrubs. She used Ez's hospital gown from his surgery for her shirt. It was so hilarious. Ez really loves the candy. I still have a bowl of Halloween candy in the kitchen and it is going to have to go out of sight because when he sees that he doesn't want to eat anything but candy.
I added some pictures of Ezra dressed up like a beautiful princess. Sometimes he does it himself and sometimes Eve helps him dress up.

What we have been up to...

2011-10-09T21:09:00.000-07:00

I know the blog hasn't been updated lately. Believe it or not it has just been busy around here. We are learning how to access Ezra's port. This means going to town twice a week to the doctor's office while the nurse observes us poking Ezra. So far Ian and I have both successfully poked Ezra once. Hopefully by the end of the month we will be infusing at home and then life won't feel quite so crazy.

2011-09-22T09:45:00.000-07:00

So my favorite picture is the bottom right one... I call this Ezra's hospital clubbing look. The little tank was made out of mesh to keep him off his tubing. He ran around in a diaper and clubbing tank with his bunny slippers pretty much the entire time we were in the hospital... it just makes me laugh.
We did have a little drama Tuesday night. The little cap on the line for needles to insert into the line popped off... notice on the picture above that this is before the clamp... so blood started pouring out. Of course we weren't even at the hotel we were in Old Navy. Ian figured the best solution was to put the cap back on even though it wasn't sterile because otherwise he would be bleeding like crazy. I thought it was a pretty good solution... I am sure someone else would have done something else but it sure worked for us. We had to bring him to the ER because we knew there was a chance of infection. They drew blood to try to see if they could grow anything. They took out that line and put a new line in and flushed the blood out of his port. What craziness!!
After that on Wednesday morning we were totally off our game. We forgot to bring factor to his appointment... luckily the hospital pharmacy had some in stock. Ezra was so good during that infusion and when they pulled the line. He was happy to be able to bathe... and man I was happy he could because he stunk so bad!! Little sponge baths just don't to the trick on a messy toddler.
We are so happy to be home. Ezra was so happy to see Eve and Eve was so happy to see Ezra. It was just too sweet!

Pictures later...

2011-09-17T19:51:00.000-07:00

We have survived the port surgery!! I think it was harder on the parents than it was on Ezra. He did so well. They took him back for surgery and it wasn't even crying about it. Then we didn't get to see him until about 2 hours later... the surgery didn't take that long but getting an IV before surgery and the time in the recovery room added onto that. After his surgery the surgeon talked to us. She said it went well... it took a few pokes to get an IV in his veins even after giving him a little gas to put him out. Sadly that was a little relief because it meant that we were really getting the port for a good reason and it made me feel like it wasn't just because we live in the middle of nowhere and doesn't mean that the nurses are horrible in Ketchikan.
He came to his room snuggled up on some male nurse looking so adorable. After a little rest he was up and running around. We couldn't keep him in the room, he was flirting with the nurses and running around the halls.
We got released from the hospital Friday with his port accessed. They taught us how to infuse and we are just hanging around Seattle waiting until Wednesday when they pull the needle out and he will have no strings to worry about. I am so happy about the infusion... it was so much nicer than a hospital visit... and it was so great to do it and then go on with our day. I am excited to learn how to access his port and move to always being able to do it at home... I mean it is scary to think about poking my squirmy toddler... but way better to have some freedom.

2011-09-09T17:38:00.000-07:00

Who wouldn't want another gorgeous boy like this?

It's a....

2011-09-09T16:10:00.000-07:00

BOY! So it's exciting... but scary at the same time. I was so hoping for a girl so I would worry a little less... but life is what it is. The ultrasound tech gave me a cd of pics... but my computer says it's empty... I may have to go back to get those pics for real...
So now we have to think of a boy name. Ezra is going to love having a brother!
When my little sister was born my brother wanted my mom to take her back and trade her for a boy... Eve might feel that way about this one... but at least she gets to be the only princess in our house. I don't know quite how I am going to survive two boys... but I know I will. I just really hope that this boy doesn't have hemophilia.... can't life give me a little break?

Wild Ride

2011-08-31T21:49:00.001-07:00

It is crazy how you get used to things being "normal." I mean taking Ezra in for a head bump didn't seem like a big deal. Then when I mentioned to the doctor that I was worried about his ankle she didn't seem to concerned so I thought maybe I was just crazy but I least I mentioned it. Tuesday morning that ankle problem was a serious problem. The doctor had called about setting up a trip down to Seattle for port placement... and by the way go to the ER for factor because it sounds like he had a joint bleed which is now rebleeding. AWESOME.... not. This was the worst visit of all. Not that the doctors and nurses weren't awesome, but the IV gods just really pooped on us yesterday. We were there for SEVEN, that is right SEVEN hours and had exhausted pretty much all of the staff that was willing to poke my little bleeder. So finally this awesome nurse from the ICU came in and saved the day... I guess the 12th time is the charm. After that there was a possibility that we would have treat many times to stop the joint bleed so they left the IV in.
We followed up today and they determined that we didn't have to treat again. They thought about keeping the IV in another day but Ezra was already getting at it... and it was a difficult spot to protect... the side of his foot... and he wanted to continue to walk. So they pulled it out and man he is one happy guy.
So now the idea of a port is not a long ways off, but in the very near future. Scary and exciting all at the same time. It will be great for Ezra not have to be poked 12 times again...

Hospital

2011-08-27T10:31:00.000-07:00

So yesterday Ezra was playing with Eve and hit his head. I was in the other room and didn't see what exactly happened. All I could get out of Eve is that Ezra hit his head and that he didn't want her to snuggle him to make him feel better. He had a few little marks on his head and a pretty good purple line down his forehead like he probably hit it on the corner of something. We called the hemo nurse and she said since we didn't see it happen we should probably treat just to be safe.
The hospital was okay. Ezra was happy right up to the time that the nurse tried to poke him. Then it was all over and he screamed bloody murder. The first poke was unsuccessful, makes me feel so bad for the little guy and also the poor nurse trying to get a good shot and my wiggly man's little veins. By the time it was over we had four nurses in the room. Two of them were holding a little animal show behind my back while I held Ezra; one of them was holding his sippy cup for him since his IV was in his little hand, and the other one was pushing his factor.
Ezra really knows how to put on a show. When they were getting him ready to go after the fact he held out his bandaged hand to the nurse with the most pathetic look on his face. It was like he was saying "look at what you did to me... the least you could do is give me a kiss." One of the nurses brought in this adorable stuffed lion for him. He really had those ladies wrapped around his little finger.

Dance party!!

2011-08-22T19:10:00.000-07:00

After dinner tonight we were having family dance time... which was so cute. While we were dancing around I saw Ez try to spin for the first time (Ian said he was doing it all day yesterday) and I was so determined to get video of it because it was just plain adorable. I love the way he lifts his shoulder right before he spins... too cute!! Eve was so happy to have someone to dance around the living room with her.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

2011-08-17T22:55:00.000-07:00

Ezra turned 1 today. I took the day off from work so we could celebrate all day. We went and had delicious fish and chips on the pier, hit up the Candy Corner, made a race car out of cupcakes, and had dinner with family. It was a wonderful day. Ezra scored some loot(the wrapping paper is the best) and enjoyed a deliciously blue cupcake the way only a one year old can.
-Ian

Coming Attraction...

2011-08-05T17:16:00.000-07:00

Pretty soon the parents in this house are going to be outnumbered. What are we going to do? I say leave the kids with grandparents and go on a long vacation... but where is the money for that with 3 kids? It was a huge surprise to us but I think it is going to be great... it better be or that long vacation might turn into mommy going to the mental institution. Eve is so excited. Today she came to an appointment with me and got to hear the baby's heartbeat. I think it is so sweet. She and Ian are in a fight over whether we are getting a girl baby or a boy, she is positive it's a girl, he is positive it's a boy. I am just praying that this baby doesn't have hemophilia.

2011-07-23T17:17:00.000-07:00

I am a mutant!!

2011-07-21T16:16:00.000-07:00

I talked to the hemophilia treatment center today and they have my carrier testing back... and I am a carrier. Of course that is what we were expecting but it is good to know and not just have it up in the air. Now Ezra and I are two mutants!!

11 Months!!

2011-07-21T16:06:00.001-07:00

Getting so big!!

Ez Walks!!

2011-07-21T16:02:00.000-07:00

Ezra started walking on July 3rd! He is so fun to watch and it is funny how much more cautious he is about walking than Eve ever was. I am hoping this caution will help prevent him from having the beat up nose Eve did when she was a new walker... that would be ten times worse with Ez's hemophilia. I had video of what I thought was him walking but the timing on it is horrible... you basically see him falling... or us trying to persuade him to walk and really don't see him successfully walk. I then got out the camera today to try and get video and I think the camera is way too exciting for him because he wants to get there so fast that he decides to drop to his knees and crawl. But here is video of Eve attempting to entice Ezra to walk to her by using his paci as bait...

Climb Every Mountain

2011-06-25T21:55:00.000-07:00

10 months old!!

2011-06-25T21:54:00.001-07:00

Father's Day

2011-06-25T21:52:00.001-07:00

We had quite the relaxing Father's Day.

Tap Tap

2011-06-11T22:14:00.000-07:00

We are in so much trouble

2011-06-11T09:14:00.000-07:00

On Sunday I met with this woman who has an adult son with hemophilia. She talked about how her son was naturally quiet and calmer than most kids. I just had to laugh because that does not describe Ez at all... He also does this climbing routine on the piano at mom's. Mom got rid of the bench after his accident but that little man is determined...

Memorial Day

2011-05-31T16:37:00.001-07:00

Ezra can't get enough gardening. Luckily we have been doing a lot of it lately.

Fishin

2011-05-31T16:33:00.001-07:00

Ian took Eve out Sunday after church. I thought she wouldn't last an hour but they were out for quite a few hours.

We did it, and we're okay

2011-05-22T22:14:00.000-07:00

Today was a wild day. We were just hanging out at mom's after church and Ezra hit his head on the corner of a square leg of the piano bench. He hit pretty hard... it was very close to breaking the skin. So we called and they told us to take the factor to the emergency room. Only one poke... and then when it was over we celebrated with ice cream.

Gardening

2011-05-20T09:05:00.001-07:00

Ezra is really into gardening. He loves getting his hands (and mouth) dirty.

I know this outfit is about as matchy as Eve's polka dot theme. Ian dressed him, I swear. But I made those super cool knee pad pants. There is also a big pad on the bum.

Personal Style

2011-05-20T09:02:00.000-07:00

This particular day the theme was polka dots.

Big Sister

2011-05-17T14:19:00.000-07:00

Eve is just the sweetest big sister. I love watching her with Ez. Last night she was filling a sippy cup full of water and Ian and I both thought she was up to some monkey business and then she handed it to Ezra so that he could have a drink, I thought that was so sweet. Of course she likes to blame any stinky smell on him... who wouldn't? Sometimes she doesn't quite understand that she should be gentle with him... but come on she's only 3! I think she is doing an awesome job with him. She is so proud of her brother and she often exclaims "Mom Ezra is getting bigger!" I think it is so great how much she loves him and loves to point out his successes.

9 months!!

2011-05-17T14:15:00.000-07:00

Magic

2011-05-08T21:20:00.001-07:00

You know what I like best about being a mom? Is that somehow the moment I became a mom I became a creator of magic. First off there is the magic that goes along with just carrying a child for nine months... that along is a magical act. Then there are just the little every day things like kissing scrapes and hugging away tears. Sometimes it is actually setting up another magical person's things; like setting out the Easter eggs and talking up the Easter bunny. I love being the unknown creator of an event that is so magical to my kids (well only Eve is old enough to even get it right now).
I know a day will come when they grow up and won't believe in the Easter bunny type of magic but I know that there is still something magical about a mom. I remember being in labor with Eve and there was no question that I needed my mom there. There is something magical about her. I know that if she is there; even if she is doing nothing but cheering for me and praying, I can do anything. I am so grateful for my mom and the magic she provides in my life.
I know that her amazing mom powers have helped me deal with how my world got turned upside down recently. My mom is one of those centering forces of my world, and how she does it I don't know, but it is pretty amazing!

Ezra's bling

2011-05-06T21:03:00.000-07:00

Something nice and shiny came in the mail today. Ezra's little medic alert bracelet arrived!! He is happy to chew on, nice location for easy access.

Looks like hemophilia

2011-05-04T10:53:00.001-07:00

This is that bruised up picture I didn't share a month ago. Ez's arms are bruised up from the blood draw. The bruises on the chest are from crawling around.When we were in Seattle we showed the picture to Ezra's doctor and she said "looks like hemophilia." I only wish that is what everyone thought when they saw it instead of what are you doing to your child!?! I think we might need a letter with his diagnosis for all those people that think we are beating our child... what do you think?

Happy Faced Ez

2011-05-04T10:51:00.001-07:00

Moms

2011-05-03T20:08:00.000-07:00

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone

This quote is one of my favorite quotes about motherhood/parenthood. Since Ezra was diagnosed it has really described how I feel most of the time. I know I feel that way about both of my kids but the reality of how much of me is invested in these little people that came from me didn't hit until something happened to one of them.

My heart breaks for Ezra and the struggles he will have to go through because no matter how hard we try he will always be different. I mourn for the carefree boyhood I wanted him to have. I wish I could just take it from him, his hemophilia; this is something grown up that a little one should not have to worry about. I don't want him to grow up worrying... but that is the reality of his life. I feel bad that most likely I gave this to him and I know I shouldn't. When my mom says if you gave it to him then most likely I gave it to you and “I am sorry” I just shake it off because I know that is not something she deliberately “gifted” to me. But then I am hard on myself for unknowingly gifting hemophilia to Ezra. That is what it is to be mothers... we would take all of the pain and hurt away from our kids if we could. I know my mom wishes she could take it away and that I wish I could take it away. Unfortunately nothing can change what is... and I would rather have Ezra here, problems and all, than not have him at all.

2011-04-28T14:16:00.000-07:00

We had a great Easter. I didn't even get out the camera to take pictures but it was lots of fun... believe me. Eve was so excited about hunting for Easter eggs!! Then on Monday Grandma Kim bought a swing set!! Eve loves it... she plays on it and runs around screaming "this is the best day ever!!!" It was so sad to see Kim go. It was nice having someone around entertaining Eve, giving me a break, someone who could actually stay on top of dishes. There is a reason that woman has survived 4 kids.... she has it together! I am so happy she was able to come down at a moments notice and spoil Eve rotten while we were out of town. Eve did not want us to come home... she was worried that would mean Kim would be leaving right away. Now Eve is sad she is gone.... she is begging us to snuggle with her at night and neither of us has the guts to deflate our air mattress... we know that is going to cause a meltdown.

We did end up getting the factor for Ezra. That makes me so relieved. Now I don't feel like I have to helicopter parent him... if/when something happens we have something to treat him with. It was pretty stressful knowing that if something happened we didn't have the factor.

So far he is doing pretty well. He is bruised up from nothing but otherwise doing great and happy as a clam. I am amazed at how happy he is. He is acting like he is teething... which should be a wild ride. Every time I get him out after nap I brace myself for the bloody mess that they told me to expect with teething... but he has yet to cut any teeth. He is just gnawing on the chair legs and other things we wish he wouldn't gnaw on and I keep trying to force teething toys on him... and at some point one of us will give up the fight... I am hoping he gives in first.

Ezra and hemophilia

2011-04-23T08:09:00.000-07:00

Our trip was a lot of information... and that made me realize when I say that Ezra has hemophilia B a lot of people have no idea what that is. Hemophilia is when the blood does not clot properly. In order for the blood to clot properly there are a number of clotting factors that need to be present. Someone with hemophilia is missing or has reduced amounts of one of those factors. The most common factor to be missing is factor 8. Ezra has a normal amount of factor 8, he has less than one percent of factor 9, which means he has severe hemophilia B (also known as Christmas disease, or just Factor 9 deficiency). This does not mean that he bleeds faster than a normal person it just means that he bleeds longer than a normal person because his poor little body is missing what it needs to for a good clot.
Hemophilia is a genetic disorder so it is something that he has had since birth; we just found out about it now. Hemophilia is something that is an x-linked trait. If the genetic mutation did not start with him it came from me. Right now we are doing genetic testing to see if I am a carrier and if I am the next step is to see if my mom is a carrier too. The doctor in Seattle said that hemophilia usually breeds true. So since Ezra is severe that means that if it manifest in another male in the family we should expect it to be severe as well. It would be almost impossible for someone with severe hemophilia to go undiagnosed for years and years... it is pretty obvious that something is wrong. Just looking at Ezra's little bruised up body from crawling around lets you know something isn't right. So it probably is not undiagnosed in any adult males in my family.
The big dangers with hemophilia are not actually the visible cuts that most people think of, those are obvious, you know there is bleeding and if needed you can treat with an infusion of factor. The scary thing is the bleeding that we can't see. There are many types of bleeds. The one that we are hoping to delay as long as possible is a joint bleed. Once Ezra gets a joint bleed he will go on prophylaxis. Prophylaxis is treating with factor usually about twice a week to reduce the chance of him bleeding. I am all for this! I don't want his joints to get destroyed from bleeding! I want him to have as normal of a life as possible.
Seattle Children's was not sure how we are going to get our factor. They are in the process of figuring it out. They are not sure they can send it up to Alaska since they aren't authorized to prescribe in Alaska. So we will see... something will be figured out. It was hilarious because they have no idea about Alaska. I mean Ketchikan is pretty darn close to Seattle I wouldn't expect them to have those wild ideas about Alaska that a lot of people from the lower 48 have. They honestly thought we might be living in the boonies with no electricity and no emergency room anywhere close to us.
It was an informative visit. We met with a great doctor, an experienced mom, and an amazing hemo nurse. Of course we are still in the honeymoon phase. We know what he has but we haven't had anything happen that would need treatment. I am sure the reality of it won't sink in until we are sent to the emergency room after calling the hemo hotline and Ezra has to have an IV to administer factor.

Hooray!

2011-04-15T15:48:00.000-07:00

Who ever thought I would be so excited about a doctor's appointment? Not me! Our scheduler called today and we have an appointment on Wednesday!!! I can't wait to hear from someone who can answer some of our MANY questions.

I keep bleeding . . . I keep, keep, bleeding...

2011-04-13T19:57:00.001-07:00

So now we know what is wrong with Ezra. It doesn't make it any easier... He has factor 9 deficiency, otherwise known as Hemophilia B. We really won the genetic lottery here. There are only 3,300 people (males) with it in the United States. Aren't we lucky? I have so many fears for the future. I worry that he will hate us for trying so hard to protect him, that I won't be able to protect him, that he won't be able to give us grandchildren. It is so overwhelming. We are still waiting for Children's Hospital in Seattle to call us and set up an appointment. I am hoping after going to Seattle I can feel a little more hopeful about his future and ours. But right now I am just going to lock myself in the bathroom and cry for a while.

Ouch!

2011-04-05T16:02:00.001-07:00

For this post I will not post pictures because I know how much my mom hates pictures of my kids hurting. Since Ezra started crawling he has been getting crazy bruises. We called the doctor about it and over the phone they decided that he was just a kid getting bruises and that we shouldn't be too concerned about it. Then on Friday I took him in because he has had a tough time getting over this nasty cold that has been going around. While there the doctor notices his bruise and asks what happened... and then I explain this is what I am talking about... horrible bruises with no event that I can think of that would cause them. So then one of my worst days as a parent happened... they had me take him in for blood work... all I can say is horrible. I guess I should also mention Eve was there with me because I thought at most we would be getting something for the cold. We were in there for 45 minutes while they poked and poked and poked Ezra trying to get one of his tiny little veins. Of course they had me holding him down and I was crying and Eve was yelling that Ezra didn't like it and just wanted to go home and take a nap... it was traumatic for all involved. All we know now is that Ezra has a blood clotting disorder and are waiting for more test results before we know where to go next. I dread it... I hate the blood drawing and I will tell you, he is bruised from the middle of his upper arm to the middle of his lower arm on both sides... it isn't pretty!! So now I am just waiting for answers and hoping my baby will be okay.

7 months!!!

2011-03-21T21:38:00.001-07:00

He is pulling up, scooting around and developing his inner dare devil.

2011-03-09T14:13:00.001-08:00

Eve loves it when I make things for her. I love making them... we are a good pair.

6 months

2011-03-01T14:53:00.001-08:00

So now he is closer to six and a half months... but this picture is a day after he turned six months... I have just been slow about getting the memory card out of the camera and into the computer. He is 16 1/2 pounds and worming around like a pro.

Recycling

2011-03-01T14:51:00.001-08:00

This skirt was made out of recycled t-shirts... so fun and easy

So much love

2011-02-25T15:21:00.000-08:00

Sometimes the love just sneaks up on me. I can be going about my day annoyed with Eve for spilling juice for the millionth time or some other thing that is totally expected behavior and she does something that just makes me stop and think I love her... relax and have some fun.
Yesterday it was the morning rush. I am so sick of monitoring her food, can't she just eat her breakfast and that be it? So I had given up and was feeling exasperated with her when I stomped to the shower for my me time while Ezra took his morning nap. Halfway through the shower I hear her opening the bathroom door and I think really? not even a five minute shower to myself? And she just comes in and says "mom this baby alligator really wants to shower with you." And the hilarious thing is it was a beaver bath toy not an alligator and she just dropped it in the tub and left. It was just what I needed. It made me laugh, it made me think about how much I love her... and it put an end to the annoyance with her that had been building all morning.
Today it was nap time. Man can I tell you how much I hate nap time. It has become the worst battle in our house. She is so obviously tired but she doesn't want to sleep. Well by that time I desperately need a break so we have instituted quiet time instead. That went over well for a while and now that is a battle too... I hate it. After our hour battle over quiet time today she sits next to me, brings me this little pink frog and says "Mom, this little frog just wants to be with you." Okay, I get it... she totally thinks I am cool, all of her things want to be with me... I am awesome! Sometimes staying home with the kids feels so much like a job that I really forget just how awesome it is. As you can tell I have really been taking it for granted lately. I blame it on the lack of sleep, really I have no excuse, I should be happy. My three year old is working really hard to remind me how lucky I am.

Loving Creating

2011-02-08T19:56:00.000-08:00

I have been having so much fun making things lately. These are pictures of a few things I made in the past month or so. I made the flowers because we caught Eve in her room hanging up "decorations" with lipstick! So we knew it was time to do something to decorate her walls. I guess she feels as much need to make something pretty as I do... can't blame the girl.

Siblings

2011-02-05T21:33:00.001-08:00

Project

2011-02-05T21:25:00.001-08:00

This is for Anica.

Future computer nerd?

2011-01-26T16:26:00.001-08:00

Little bugger scooted to the computer while I was out of the room...

2011-01-09T22:12:00.000-08:00

2011-01-09T22:06:00.000-08:00

2011-01-09T22:04:00.000-08:00

Once there was a snowman

2011-01-04T14:55:00.001-08:00

2010-12-27T09:40:00.000-08:00

At the beginning of the month we moved into a new apartment. It is nice having a space of our own... though we so appreciate Ian's grandparents letting us stay there when we needed to. While we were unpacking we would just set Ez on a blanket on his back, since he hated tummy time and then while our backs were turned he would roll over. Then we would place him on his back again to try to see him do it... and he would never perform on demand. Well now he is rolling over pretty much ALL of the time so we finally see it and can share it.

Princess Party

2010-12-22T17:07:00.000-08:00

3 Years!

2010-12-20T22:12:00.001-08:00

I just can't help but think about how much life has changed these past three years. She is really the sweetest little girl. Today when she woke up from her nap she so nicely asked me for some dino nuggets and then we galloped around the house both of us pretending to be mommy horses... and I thought there was nothing sweeter than laughing and playing with my favorite girl.

Today was the big day!! The double birthday. Ian and Eve's big day. Luckily Ian's family really came through to make it both of their birthdays and not just Eve's. I don't have pics of the cakes but Anica does... there was a Batman cake for Ian and a Belle cake for Eve. Anica made both of them and they were awesome!
When Eve decided to sneak into our room this morning we decided she could open presents from us. It was fun to see her and Ian sing "happy birthday to us".
It was a big day for all of us. After Ian went to work we had to go to Ez's 4 month check up. I had planned to leave Eve with someone and just take Ez but she insisted that she had to go to the doctor. She asked if we were going to leave Ez there, or whether the doctor was going to put Ez back in my tummy. I had to crush her dreams when I told her no Ez was coming back home with us after the doctor checked him out.

The Great and Powerful Ez

2010-11-18T23:15:00.000-08:00

So Ezra is now 3 months old! Where did the time go? His best skill right now is spitting up... and up and up and up... So that pic of him spitting up is totally necessary because it actually shows him doing what he does best. He really is usually a happy baby and spitting up with a smile on his face. His hair is my favorite thing now... when I give him a bath you see long hair flowing in the water and Eve didn't have that long of hair until she was one or so. But along with that he has this hilarious bald spot too... and he looks like he is sporting some serious old man hair.

Love to Read

2010-11-17T15:22:00.000-08:00

Eve has been "reading" with her Tag every time she goes to bed. It is fun because she does not fight bedtime at all. A lot of the time I find her with her Tag pen in her hand... but I peeked in on her and found her like this; which is too adorable not to share. What is so funny about this is that it reminds me of Ian he will be asleep with his laptop in his lap just holding position; I don't know how he does it. Like father like daughter.

Halloween again...

2010-11-11T21:19:00.000-08:00

Eve had so much fun dressing up as something different for the various Halloween events she had the week of Halloween. On the real Halloween it was really stormy and I was not going to attempt to take Ezra out so I sent Ian and Eve out into the dark night. So they went as quite the pair... Lumpy and Pooh. Nice and warm costumes. Aren't they cute?

Just like Daddy

2010-11-11T21:16:00.000-08:00

With Ezra dressed up for the cold weather we have been having he reminds me so much of Ian! He is just too cute!!

Halloween Party

2010-10-27T22:58:00.001-07:00

Can I get a woohoo?

2010-10-21T22:01:00.000-07:00

Ian got a job! He just got the call today. He will be working for the state ferry system as a programmer. Yay! We are so happy that we will be able to stay in Ketchikan.

2 Months Old!!

2010-10-21T21:55:00.000-07:00

Ezra is two months old now. Man the time is flying by. Eve is loving her baby brother and is always happy to "help" me take care of Ezra. He is now 11 pounds 2 ounces and getting bigger every day.

Princess party

2010-10-14T10:59:00.000-07:00

Last week Eve got dressed up to go to a princess birthday party. Nothing could be more exciting to her than finally being able to eat a princess cake.... she has been keeping her eye on them at Carrs. She had a blast.

Blow winds blow!

2010-10-11T09:39:00.001-07:00

We had quite the storm here. The power went out which if you are at all familiar with Ketchikan is no surprise. Sitting in the house we thought that the power would come on anytime, it didn't look so bad, right? Except for the tree that had fallen down across the lower driveway. That just meant that Ian and Grandpa got to get out the old chainsaw and cut away.
Eventually we gave up on waiting for the power to come back on to go see what Eve was up to, she was at my mom's house. When we drove towards town we quickly realized we should probably settle in for quite a while without power!!
Luckily we only ended up without power for less than 24 hours. Man are we loving on electricity now.

2010-10-04T15:59:00.000-07:00

Princess Eve

2010-09-23T21:41:00.000-07:00

Chatty Girl

2010-09-23T21:38:00.001-07:00

Eve is obsessed with talking to her daddy on the phone. Today she was talking to him on the phone and when she hung up on him she started crying because she really wanted to talk to her daddy. It is so sweet to hear her talk to him. She thinks he is the best! She begs him to stay home with him because I am no fun anymore.

Ezra at one month

2010-09-23T21:35:00.001-07:00

Ezra has grown up so much this month!! He is now 9 pounds 3 ounces!! It is so fun to see how Eve acts with him. The other morning he was crying and she came running upstairs saying "Big sister is coming" it was so sweet!!

Going on a Bear Hunt

2010-09-23T21:30:00.000-07:00

Eve loves going on dates with her daddy. This one is a highlight of the summer.

Big sister

2010-09-02T21:11:00.000-07:00

My little man

2010-09-02T21:06:00.000-07:00

Ezra is just the sweetest little boy. It has been so much fun just loving on him the past few weeks. We even got a day of sunshine for him to really bask in the rays.

He's Here!!

2010-08-18T21:44:00.001-07:00

Ezra Gerrit Roskam
6 pounds 14 oz
20 inches long
Born at 8:10 a.m. on 8/17/2010

Beach Day and Ariel

2010-08-15T21:35:00.000-07:00

Our summer has sadly been missing out on beach days, which is something that we did a ton last year. But this summer I was busy watching kids on Saturdays, and we spent the time before nap on Sundays at church. So my plan has been to take a "personal day" from church on the Sunday before my c-section to have a nice family day. Ian, Eve, my mom, Andrew and I were able to make it... though Andrew went for a hike and is sadly missing from our pictures. Luckily the weather cooperated with a beach day. It was so fun to get out and cook on a fire and play at the beach. It was also nice because it was so much cooler down at Settler's than anywhere else... so I was able to escape the nasty heat.

Eve's favorite activity was finding "Ariel rocks" to stand on, crouch on, or lay on to then sing the AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AHHHHHHHH from The Little Mermaid. It was hilarious! I am always entertained by the things that she comes up with. She was so sad to leave, she was yelling to daddy that she just needed to find one more Ariel rock before we left. What a day!!

I can do it all by myself

2010-08-02T21:29:00.001-07:00

Eve is getting so good at doing things by herself. I love it, she loves it, it is win-win for everyone. Plus it provides so much entertainment. Last night we were hanging out on the deck and she said she was cold and that she needed a jacket. I told her she could go down to her room and get one herself. She came up looking like this... didn't know that jacket meant take off your dress to put on a jacket... but it was so adorable!

Our Family

2010-07-18T21:52:00.001-07:00

Only a month left... and family pics will look different.

Happy Anniversary!!

2010-07-07T06:49:00.001-07:00

I am so glad that Ian is my husband. We have so much fun together. Of course since becoming parents we don't have many pictures of us alone... but I love this picture of us in Mexico... it is one of my best memories of us as a couple before Eve came along.

Ian is such a good husband. He really takes up the slack for his pregnant wife. He is so patient. Of course his greatest quality is how awesome he is as a dad. I love seeing him and Eve and can't wait to see him with his little boy!!

Blanket for Baby Brother

2010-07-05T22:02:00.001-07:00

There are more... but this one is my favorite so far.

4th of July

2010-07-05T21:59:00.000-07:00

Or as Eve insists, the first day of July.

Our Weekend

2010-06-21T11:07:00.000-07:00

We had a great day before Father's Day. This summer I am babysitting some kids, Eve loves the built in playmates, and we brought them to Ward Lake for family day. Ian helped Eve fish in the lake... she didn't catch anything then, but that morning we picked the kids I babysit up from City Park where they were having the kids fishing derby and Eve got to catch a fish there!!! Nothing better than catching a fish with a Barbie fishing pole.

It was such a nice sunny day. Ian took the kids out in the canoe and I stayed and supervised lake side. Then it was to our house to play on the deck in the sunshine. We finally broke out the kiddie pool so the kids had a blast. It was a great day.

Then just at midnight the flu kicked in for me. I was glad that Eve had decided to sleep over at my mom's so I could be sick and not worry about waking her up. But then the phone rang at 3 in the morning it was mom warning us that Eve was sick. Poor mom. She dealt with Eve's flu. Then Ian's Father's Day was spent running to the store for just the right liquids for his dehydrated and miserable girls. Poor guy!! But we really appreciate that he helped out so much! Made life much easier for us. And maybe Father's Day will come later for him... when the energy is back and the aching bodies are completely healed... Of course for me that may not be until this baby is done cooking.

Eve recovering from the flu. What a nice bed the closet makes, with towels for blankets. She recovers in style, with her princess dress on.

Vacation

2010-05-13T15:28:00.000-07:00

We finally got to go on our "spring" vacation. We went up to Wasilla and stayed with Ian's parents and Ian walked for his graduation. Of course I didn't take a single picture the entire time we were there... I was just too busy! We had lots of fun.

Kim and Anica had decorated a room for Eve and she was so thrilled. She wanted to show her room to everyone! It was so sweet. Another bonus is that she is in love with Anica. Some nights she refused to let me or Ian do bedtime... she wanted Anica to do it. All I know is that it was a welcome break for me.

It was a wild week. We had lots of shopping to do, since we could actually go to real stores! So of course we had to stock up on stuff. We took two bags up and checked 6 coming back if that says anything. Eve had a blast shopping. It is hilarious how much she enjoys shopping. She would just load up a cart... I figure why not let her, and then go through and only get a few of the things she has decided on. It kept her busy.

Graduation was at the end of our trip. It was so nice to watch Ian walk... I know he worked so hard for his degree and appreciate the difference it will make for our family. It was so funny to think that when I walked in my college graduation I was pregnant with Eve and there she was cheering Ian on, and I am pregnant with another one now. Oh how things change!

Finish Line in Sight!!

2010-04-24T08:25:00.000-07:00

So I got the paperwork in the mail. The latest that I will have this baby is August 17th at 7:30 in the morning! I am so excited. It is great knowing for sure that it can't go any longer than that. I am also so lucky because the amazing doctor who delivered Eve is going to be the doctor delivering this baby! It is a total luck since he is only going to be in Ketchikan the month of August and then we probably wouldn't see him back on the island for 4 months... but I am fine with that I am just feeling so lucky to get that doctor!